The Knots in the Forest of Being
Knots in the Grain of Humanity
Like trees, most human beings have knots. These knots can be emotional or tangible, circumstantial or habitual. They’re the proof of our mistakes and sins, our trials and their resulting scars.
In my line of work, I’m often exposed to the lowest totem of humanity―the people with the greatest number of knots. Society prefers to forget (ignore) that these people exist altogether. In fact, instead of calling them “people,” it’s generally easier to think of them as criminals and addicts and scumbags.
If you’ve just shifted in your seat, you’re not alone. Criminality is widely controversial. As such, we’ve been coded to think and feel very specific ways about law offenders.
And that coding has proven so effective, we default to dehumanizing them. This attitude is so pervasive that we believe criminals are inherently and forever tarnished. Untouchable, as if they have leprosy. Incapable of change unless it’s for the worse; unfixable.
Those beliefs generate a noxious culture of resignation surrounding people who are homeless, justice-involved, or addicted to substances. (A triple whammy, because the three tend to co-occur.) That cynicism is perpetuated by both the named and the namers, making it ever easier to power the hateful cycle.
Judgment as a Pollutant
We’ve all probably heard disgusted remarks about how someone “will never change.” That’s the resignation of the namer. Likewise, the named who repeatedly hear those messages eventually believe in (and give energy to) that self-fulfilling prophecy. Thus, what begins as a collection of words crystallizes into belief―and with time hardens into an identity.
Such negativity seldom only hovers over the “guilty” party, though. Cynical words act as siphons on our faith in the world, and ultimately fuel the quiet and ferocious spread of pessimism.
See how negativity is an energetic pollutant? It leaves no room for hope, and like smog from a wildfire, it spreads fast. And it accumulates in our collective lungs, making us prone to choke.
That’s the thing about pollution: it doesn’t discriminate. One toxin is enough to taint the whole atmosphere. And similarly, the harm we do to others is inherently a damage we cause for ourselves.
Our Double Standard of Compassion
When we see a flower that’s been trampled, we’re quick to say, “Aw, what a pity.” Our hearts tug in compassion when we see dried-up worms on the sidewalk and pancaked raccoons on the roadside. The warts on toads seem only natural, as do the knots on trees.
Yet when it comes to other humans it’s an entirely different story, isn’t it?
When we see a haggard-looking person hunched over a begging cup, we keep ourselves away. Veins tainted by fentanyl automatically make us cringe. Our minds bristle at the mere mention of someone’s mistakes. Wounds and scars are made to be hidden, forced into suppression by suggestions of sin. This scorn runs so deep that even an unpopular opinion can spark a war.
A pair of ducks may tussle over a disagreement concerning their share of the pond, but after a few flaps of their wings, peace is restored.
But it’s not so with humankind. Why? Because of the discriminating power of the human mind. Equipped with language, critical reasoning, and social biases, we are ripe for creating dreams of our own superiority and casting lightning bolts of blame.
The old adage “you are your own worst critic” is actually multidimensional. Yes, it’s true that many of us are singularly harsh towards ourselves. Yet we forget that “you” can also be plural: we are collectively our own biggest critics. In effect, we are caught in a cycle of perpetual distrust of different classes, castes, creations and creeds.
Knots as Circumstances
No one is a complete victim to their circumstances, but not everyone yet understands that happiness depends chiefly upon our mental attitudes, either. Therefore, most of us live in some degree of delusion. We trick ourselves into carrying around these circumstances and stories as if they’re who we really are.
Perhaps the haggard-looking person is newly homeless after losing their job in a ruthless economy. It could be that they see fentanyl as their only way to cope with deteriorating mental health because healthcare is inaccessibly expensive.
The person stealing from a retailer could be trying to provide for multiple children, or merely trying to make ends meet. Having lost their ID, it’s been impossible to get a job, let alone open a bank account.
For some, criminality is the only answer they’ve ever known. Maybe their parents instilled the habit, then their ensuing environments never let in sunshine for growth.
That’s the thing: We’ll never know. Not perfectly, anyway. So it would save us a lot of time, energy, and interpersonal conflict if we could approach life more like walking into the woods.
Turning People into Trees
To get a better glimpse at what I mean, consider the late yogi Ram Dass’ approach:
When you go out into the woods, and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree.
― Ram Dass
The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying ‘You are too this, or I’m too this.’ That judgment mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.
Ram’s practice of “turning people into trees” is really a demonstration of compassion, of widening one’s heart to embrace all beings regardless of how they appear or behave. In this way, we start to embrace that there are infinite shades of evergreen, and that even termites are essential for a forest’s wellbeing.
Because behavior is not the equivalent of being, which is the underlying Life which unites all of us. The rest are mere stories―or for the purposes of this discussion, the knots in a tree’s bark.
Cultivating Kindness for Humanity’s Knots
None of this is about condoning evil, hateful, dangerous, or unhealthy conduct. There’s no denying that the state of our world is still very much affected by these things.
Instead of generating more negativity by casting habitual judgment at one another, it’s about actively making the choice to see the being beneath the behavior. To generate compassion for every person and situation. To maintain hope despite a sour majority, for even one nurturing droplet of rain can be enough to make a seed grow.
So let us work on this art of accepting people with the same openness that we do trees. When we encounter a person whose character is tough to palette, may we remember that their roots draw from the same earth as ours. What looks like rot may just be the slow, patient work of becoming.
Perhaps if we can meet one another in that quiet recognition, we might one day remember what it means to be part of the whole.
↟𖠰˚☀︎ᨒ↟𖠰