The One-Doored Heart: Jam’s Philosophy of Love and Openness

A Temple Worker Jams my Silent Retreat

Sitting on the terrace with a temple cat curled up in my lap, I watched the serene majesty of the Swiss Alps. This was at a self-directed silent retreat at Kailach International Retreat Center in Törbel, Switzerland. I had chosen silence for solitude, introspection, and contemplation around my 27th birthday.

On this particular morning, however, a temporary resident at the Kadampa temple approached me. He greeted me warmly, and for a brief time, I communicated solely with head-nods and smiles.

The fellow got around to asking if I would be interested in hiking with him. Despite there not being any signposts or markings, there were loads of trails nearby, and he would appreciate the company.

Before my rigid mind had the chance to think, I said “Yes.” Out loud.

My spell of silence was broken. Something within told me that this time, these hikes—and this connection—would reach deeper than my introspection.

Hiking and Learning ABout Jam’s Journey

We hiked through the mountains, skirting past yak corrals, discovering tiny hillside chapels, and navigating waterfalls and riverways. At one point, my companion even took a swim in a trough being fed by a water wheel. While we climbed the steep heights, the historical village of Törbel remained close enough to admire its dark wood chalets and hear the rhythmic chime of the chapel bell.

“Jam”—whose real name I never learned—is a temple-hopper from Germany. He had been traveling around the world for years, serving at temples in exchange for food and accommodations while working remotely toward his master’s degree. I was shocked to learn that he was 37 years old when we met. His energy, and love for life, gave him a transcendentally youthful glow. 

For many miles, we discussed spirituality, world philosophy, and culture. Jam’s journey through self-reflection bore a stark resemblance to my own. Before starting into world travel and temple life, he was at odds with the illusions that often keep societies spellbound. Consumerism, capitalism, the money-chasing 9 to 5s—none of it addressed his soul’s yearning for a sense of purpose. 

Jam’s Heartfelt Philosophies

After selling his possessions, Jam began temple-hopping with just a few outfits, his school books, and a laptop. (He also proudly admitted to occasionally carrying a ukulele, because it makes him smile.) 

The change has had a profound effect on Jam’s philosophies. He has experienced several new spiritual traditions, and thus discovered new ways to honor and express himself. Even then, mid-journey, he seemed to have an intimate understanding of his relationships not only with others, but also existence.

Later in the retreat, I was awestruck by Jam’s absorption in a chore. He had been tasked with cleaning the windows in the library, and the amount of detail he was pouring into each corner and crevice made me question if I’d ever truly been present before. When I commented on this, he let out one of his signature room-brightening laughs.

“This is my only task right now,” he told me. “What else is there to do but give it my fullest attention?”

That was the first time I fully understood how “soul” goes into service.

The Open-doored Heart

During one of our hikes—likely after I had been complaining about a self-imposed “limitation”—Jam shared a concept that has stayed with me ever since.

The heart, he said, has only one door. If we shut it out of self-preservation, resistance, resentment or hatred, then we’re also blocking out love. The love is still there (always has been and will be) but we’re very unlikely to feel it. 

And that, in essence, is how our disillusionment starts. By shutting the door of our hearts, our inherent experience of love diminishes. Becoming embittered and feeling estranged, we then lose sight of the sheer preciousness of life’s offerings.

Even if the door isn’t quite sealed, and tiny currents of love seep in, it won’t feel like enough. Temporary highs like money acquisition, entertainment, caloric indulgences, and material purchases will be our attempts to replace it.

Grasping for external fulfillment will prove ineffectual, though. Instead, we’ll only be left spiritually parched.

Duality Closes Hearts

In a world divided by duality, this barrenness feels highly prevalent.

Evidenced even in the millennia that preceded us, humanity is ubiquitously attached to thoughts and systems of “us” and “them.” (And very often, it’s us versus them!) Societies are built on uneven foundations and governments keep their vaults full with conflict. 

Even among individuals, one so-called wrong, distasteful, or unagreeable belief is enough to fuel decades-long disfavor. In the United States, for example, political polarization and pious judgments of transgender people are two examples of many.

A common “loophole” is opening one’s heart only for loved ones, like friends and family, while shutting out the rest. That approach ends up being counter-intuitive, though because it still creates a blockage. 

Our individual and collective hearts seem to have their doors locked and barricaded, with moats and steel walls as reinforcement. 

Love Pervades Even Unpleasantness

To reap the fullest experience of love, we have to let our hearts be available to it all. The unpleasant neighbors, the questionable leaders, the repellent opinions, the uncomfortable experiences. Each has a purpose for our growth, the potential energy to expand our love. 

One way or another—whether or not we consent—this life has its ways of humbling us. We will figure out universality, because we have to. That is our destination as human beings. It is only a matter of how long that realization takes. And how much we choose to resist it along the way.

Our existence is not a mere checks-and-balances system for the dualistic waves of achievement and suffering. There is an actionable, underlying love that transcends any desirous fulfillment. Even amid the shadows of conflict, that love is the lamp that illuminates our purpose.

Forget Waldo—Where’s Jam?

For planting an early seed of this lesson, and more still, I have Jam to thank. If anyone happens to meet this ebullient adventurer out there in the world, please send him our contact page. It would truly be a joy to reconnect with him.

⋆.ೃ࿔ :･⚝⭑