Sometimes, it’s Good (and Necessary) to Breathe New Air
Discovering New Air in Cork, Ireland
Sometimes, it’s the smallest moments that are breaths of new air.
In April of 2023, I was in Cork, Ireland, nearing the end of my stint in the United Kingdom on a three-month trip abroad. This European voyage was meant to be a hard existential reset, a way to reorient myself with what truly matters.
It turned out to be more challenging than I thought.
There are many reasons why I basically refuse to stay in hostels now. The greatest of these are due to sensory overstimulation and a heightened awareness of being perceived. Both of these were challenges that, over the course of life, I’ve learned to sequester—but this trip finally pushed me to start taking care of them.
Before I fully committed to the “no hostel” approach, however, I had a few non-refundable stays to brave through. One of them was in Cork.
And while the city was exceptionally loud all through the night, one individual’s spirit was enough to paint my memory of Cork with light.
Learning the Language of a Fellow Traveler
It isn’t a long story. My interactions with this person lasted all of five minutes—maybe. But that was all it took to learn that I could afford to give myself a little grace. To feel refreshed.
Shortly after arriving at the hostel, I tried settling into my open-air bunk. With only a couple of travel towels to use as curtains (i.e. keep from being seen), I knew the night would be… an interesting one.
One of my roommates had gotten there already; she was resting, but alert enough to acknowledge me. Whatever got us to try communicating beyond that, I’m no longer sure. I may have tried to ask if the lights were bothering her.
We quickly realized that there was a language barrier between us. I was growing accustomed to such conundrums, so I brought up the handy-dandy Google Translate page on my phone.
Meeting Universality and Understanding
Conversing through Google Translate takes patience. As one types with the keyboard, the other waits; then there is the message-reading, the response, and so on. It can be a real drag when you’re, say, lost in South Korea and trying to communicate with rail employees who have jobs to do. However, done mindfully during some free time, it’s a beautiful practice of connection.
First, my Cork roommate asked if I was a student. I wasn’t, but that idea brought me joy—as a “student” of life, I’m always gladdened if I give off that air of curiosity and exploration.
My roommate was typing in Portuguese, so I asked where she was from. Brazil, she told me. This trip to Ireland was her holiday. Which of course opened up the question of why I was there.
Since small talk is a discourse that normally keeps to the neutral and unremarkable, I could have seconded her holiday comment. It would have gone something like: Me too. Well, enjoy your holiday!
But my authenticity-oriented brain resisted that, as it often does. It yearned for more—a universal connection, perhaps.
So instead, I admitted the truth. I had little bearing on what I was actually doing, holiday or otherwise; my time in Cork had sprouted from a life crisis. And because American culture has conditioned me to worship productivity, I expected to be met with questions, condescension, or outright judgment. (In the States, such “free-spiritedness” [unemployment] is highly ridiculed.)
My comrade took the phone with a loving smile. Instead of the anticipated disdain, she met me with understanding. The words she chose to write still resonate with me to this day.
Sometimes it’s good to breathe new air.
The Transformative Wisdom of New Air
For a moment, the biting, devilish under-flames of my mind were snuffed out. All of the guilt, goofiness, and invalidation I’d been subjecting myself to became irrelevant, taken away by a breeze of new air.
My decision to go on a three-month escapade around the world hadn’t come lightly, to be sure. But it had required taking a sabbatical from my job that stretched the limits of company policy. It’s lucky that I was valued enough that when I threatened to quit for the trip, management pulled a whole myriad of strings to retain my job.
I was young, but not young enough to “justify” such an unconventional choice. To be at that age, still without a clue of what to do and where to go in life, felt sinful. And there was still most pervasive belief of all: that my inborn needs, like protecting my privacy and honoring my sensory limitations, weren’t valid.
This woman I met lived thousands of miles away from me, and we met by divine “coincidence” thousands of miles from both of our homes. Even still, it was her wisdom that I received in that moment—wisdom that created an internal space where my self-doubt could be swept away with the clouds.
Makes it seem like the hostel was nonrefundable for a reason, doesn’t it?
Breathing Space, Unending Grace
In this modern world, introspection is essential. Questioning convention, and generating an indelible resolve to make our lives (and the world) better, is how age-old habits are broken. That self-reflection can be with us anywhere—on holiday, at work, or in the midst of existential crises.
The important matter is that we give ourselves the space to feel our innermost truth. With how chaotic and drama-oriented our world can be, our minds have become prone to negative narratives. These can leave us feeling useless, invalid, and altogether uninspired.
We have to remind ourselves that sometimes, it’s good to breathe new air. Whether that means taking a momentary break or a long hiatus from the everyday, we have to reconnect with ourselves. It’s in our quiet inner space that calmness, truth, peace, and creativity flourish. Imagine how refreshed the world would be if we all took this approach from time to time!
The unconditional love and acceptance that I received from this member of our human family was transformative. To this day, it blesses me with grace and understanding.
New air is only ever a breath away.
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